Monthly Archives: November 2006

Eh. So I’m shallow

Despite the blessing of a giant, throbbing intellect, I admit I react to celebrities in the most superficial way, including political celebrities. I’m not happy to see Newt Gingrich back on the national stage, for example. I couldn’t tell you why. Yeah, yeah…architect of the Contract, bringer of the majority. Something about him just pisses […]

Why is Islam so retarded?

Squinting ahead into the 21st Century, most people are looking to China or the Far East generally or Europe (ha!) or Russia (ha! ha!) to be the next big player. My money’s on India. They’re big, they’re clever, they’re charming and they make excellent 1950s Hollywood musicals. It’s a country not without problems, but I’m […]

NBC suffers attack of the Humpty Dumpties

One of the reasons the Right and Left can’t talk to each other is that we speak two different languages, and it’s especially difficult to translate between them because both use the same words. Old fuddy-duddies that we are, conservatives use the traditional, restrictive, dictionary definitions. Liberals, on the other hand, view words as imprecise […]

Farewell, lads — we hardly knew ye

The youngest member of Clan Weasel got hisself neutered on Friday. The day after Thanksgiving seemed an especially cruel time to go about it, but it had to be done (by law in this state). He was in and out in a couple of hours. They told me he’d be groggy, he wouldn’t want food […]

Happy Thanksgiving, you old savings and loan!

When I die facedown in a pool of something disgraceful, let it be said of me, at least, that I was a happy drunk. And that I observed occasions well. The turkey was excellent (perhaps a bit garlicky; I’ll get the plain one next time). The wine as bitter as anyone could hope. James Bond […]

No veggies, I’m being grateful over here

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I pause and think about how great I’ve got it, and then I eat too much, drink too much and collapse in a heap in front of the television. Gratitude, gluttony and sloth. Yes sir, I can do that! I’m putting a little spin on the menu this year. I’m […]

Imam seeks to make US Airways most popular carrier

One of the six Muslim scholars taken off a plane in Minneapolis is calling for a boycott of US Airways. Fantastic for the airline’s bottom line. Their unofficial slogan could be “Fly Us, Muslims Won’t.” I mean, ask yourself which are there more of in this country: Muslims or people uncomfortable riding on airplanes with […]

You know the nanny state has got you when…

I drive East in the morning and West in the afternoon and this time of year that means driving straight into the sun. I had to stay a little late and clear some stuff up today, so the light was at an especially bad angle when I came home. I was all but blinded the […]

Hey! TV! On a computer!

This was like a Simpsons episode: it started out to be about one thing and ended up about another. I bought a used ThinkPad last month and it’s been double plus good so far. I’m very happy with my decision. But it is used gear and one of its quirks is that the case squeaks […]

Zombie Spider

I don’t like spiders. Okay? I admit it. I don’t mind bugs, but there’s something about spiders…the way their abdomens are so swollen and shiny. The way their legs are so thin and bent at creepy angles. The way they sloooooowly step across a surface and then suddenly skitter really fast. They keep making horror […]