Eh. So I’m shallow

Despite the blessing of a giant, throbbing intellect, I admit I react to celebrities in the most superficial way, including political celebrities. I’m not happy to see Newt Gingrich back on the national stage, for example. I couldn’t tell you why. Yeah, yeah…architect of the Contract, bringer of the majority. Something about him just pisses me off. Maybe it’s the way his features are all wadded up in the center of his face like a grubby little fist.

Take William F. Buckley. Father of modern conservatism and all, I know…but doesn’t he look like some kind of giant leathery reptile? I never heard a thing he said on television. I was too absorbed watching for his tongue to whip out of his head and smack the person next to him. It would make that ssssssss-KchA! bullwhip sound, I bet. Brrr.

I’d like to believe I have some kind of super-sensitive true-personality-detecting spidey sense going for me here, but I’m probably just very superficial. God will give me a squint, for sure. I used to think our leftist dominated media deliberately put unattractive righties on chat shows to discredit their ideas. Then it occurred to me the ones on the other side are no prettier. I guess politics draws freaks.

No, I’m no oil painting, either. But you won’t see me on television. Except maybe being frogmarched out of the group home with my hands cuffed behind me.



  1. Posted November 30, 2006 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    Wait, are handcuffs implicit in “frog-march”? I’d hate to be redundant.

    That’s why I think Mitt Romney will be our next president, despite his magic underwear: he’s prettier than Hillary Clinton. Of course…nah, that joke tells itself. What fun is that?

    In other world news, my bottle of prune juice is labeled “shake gently.” Why? Will it explode? Will I explode? If you hear an explosion from the direction of Boston, Do Not go outside. Or at least take an umbrella.

  2. Posted November 30, 2006 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    Boston, eh? Poor soul. :)

  3. Posted November 30, 2006 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    High sixties and sunny today, believe it or not. We’re flirting with the record.

    Love that global warming…

  4. Posted November 30, 2006 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    Yep. That global warming seems
    to be amovable thingy.
    Frogmarching AlBore!

  5. Posted November 30, 2006 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

    Your the reason Cindy Crawford is selling men’s electric razors instead of Stephen Hawking.


  6. Posted November 30, 2006 at 8:36 pm | Permalink


  7. Posted November 30, 2006 at 9:37 pm | Permalink

    Boston? You’re Ace! Admit it!

    If one looks at it, the Right has far better-looking men and women public figures. The best the Left have are Bill Clinton and John Edwards.

  8. Posted December 1, 2006 at 4:27 am | Permalink

    Pupster, not even Cindy Crawford could sell Stephen Hawking.

    I almost got the audio book of A Brief History of Time the other day. It’s one of those things you feel like you ought to read but you really don’t want to. Then I noticed it was read by Stephen Hawking.

    Can you imagine having Dr Sbaitso talk to you about physics for eight hours?!

  9. alice
    Posted December 1, 2006 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    ..”The best the Left have are Bill Clinton and John Edwards…”

    I’ve seen better faces on the rear ends of baboons. Envisioning fat, pasty, white thighs. Monica had to be on crack.

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