Civil: servants, disobedience

All this talk about civil disobedience and stickin’ it to The Man and I’ve probably made myself sound like a rude asshole. I am not. I’m a very polite asshole. Good manners are the hallmark of good breeding; I am never boorish when I break the law. A good attitude and a pleasant, engaging manner […]

Photoshop Phun

“I’m ready for my closeup, America.” I finally worked out what Crazy Eyes Pelosi reminds me of. And if you don’t recognize this film, you, Sir, suffer from a criminal lack of gayness. Campest, creepiest flick ever.

Civil Disobedience, ctd.

Here’s the problem: too many people don’t know the difference between right and wrong and legal and illegal. And here’s the difference: you can pretty much work out right and wrong all by yourself, standing naked in the shower asking yourself the tough questions. Whether or not you’ve broken the law may take a whole […]

Civil Disobedience Lite

I got the new Weaselmobile inspected Friday, and now I’m 100% street legal for the first time in…I don’t know. Twelve years? I’m like, “yeah, go on — pull me over! I’m clean!” My damn papers are never in order. I’d like to say this is a defiant act of civil disobedience. A madcap libertarian […]

From me to you

To the person who just found this wretched hive of scum and villainy by doing a Google search for “Lurpak butter logo” — here you go: Y’all come back now, y’hear? To the rest of you, I highly recommend Lurpak. It’s nice butter. You have to pay through the nose for it at Whole Foods, […]

I wonder what Saddam is thinking tonight

Tonight’s the night. Maybe. There are rumors he’s been hanged already, there’s one more appeal to American courts afoot, but best guess right now is that Saddam will get the drop about five hours hence. I love this picture. He looks like the male lead for a dinner theater production of, I dunno, “I Am […]

Donald Rumsfeld…Statesman, Patriot, Heartthrob

So, he’s gone. Okay, I’m just going to come out and say what I know we’re all thinking: I want to have Donald Rumsfeld’s babies. If somebody had to pay the price for this election, why couldn’t it be Nicole Richie? Or that guy in Research with the stupid bow ties?   “Oh, Lord. I […]

The hundredth macaca

Raising awareness. Has there ever been an activity more utterly fucking pointless? If you want to do something to fix, say, breast cancer, you could become a doctor or a biochemist or something. You could give money to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Or, you know, ask your mom if she’s had a breast exam […]

Vagina monolith

What is this fiberglas nun’s wimple, this crumpled parasail, this rectilinear iron pile topped unexpectedly with jaunty architectural labia? This, my friends, is the new headquarters of the US Institute of Peace, to be built on the Mall in Washington, DC in 2007. Perhaps you’ve heard of the USIP. Or perhaps you, like me, thought […]

Short and sweet

Woke up this morning, swung my legs out of bed and stepped in a squirrel. A touching gift of roadkill from my kitten. As my old mother used to say, the day never goes right after you dip your phalanges in a putrescent rodent. Boy howdy. So I’ve had a rolling asshole of a day […]