Category Archives: animals

Weasel fight!!!

Whoa, check it out. This is the picture that accompanies the Wikipedia article on mustela nivalis which led to the photographer’s Flickr page about the shot, which led to this weaseltastic fifteen seconds of YouTube of the same fight. These two little bastards were so pissed off, they didn’t care who was watching. Nivalis is […]

Hey, remember that distressed squirrel under the bathtub?

He’s feeling better. He came out the access hatch, I guess, and trapped himself in the bathroom when he heard me coming. His only way out was the door — and no guarantee he’d go back in the walls when he’d have the run of the whole house– and the window at the far end, […]

Weasel Hearts Entropy

I woke up this morning, as I always do, with the feeling that something was terribly wrong. Not the vague, cosmic something-is-wrongness this time, but the specific physical realization that my feet were somehow higher than my head. Huh. That’s so wrong. My bedframe broke in the night. It looks like the metal bracket tore […]

There’s a distressed squirrel under my bathtub

Just wanted to share. They get into the dormer at the back of the house through a hole in the fascia. I had all the gutters replaced last year, and the workmen carefully preserved the entrance hole the squirrels had chewed for themselves. Um, thanks. So, the little fucker has crawled up into the enclosure […]

The hundredth macaca

Raising awareness. Has there ever been an activity more utterly fucking pointless? If you want to do something to fix, say, breast cancer, you could become a doctor or a biochemist or something. You could give money to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Or, you know, ask your mom if she’s had a breast exam […]


That squeak. It wasn’t the heater fan going dodgy. It was some poor rodent Damien crippled and brought in the house. Bigger than a mouse, smaller than a rat…more woodland creature than filthy vermin. Black button eyes, shiny with fear. Cute. Disney. Fuck. Damien apparently did bad things to its spine, then laid it outside […]

Farewell, lads — we hardly knew ye

The youngest member of Clan Weasel got hisself neutered on Friday. The day after Thanksgiving seemed an especially cruel time to go about it, but it had to be done (by law in this state). He was in and out in a couple of hours. They told me he’d be groggy, he wouldn’t want food […]

Zombie Spider

I don’t like spiders. Okay? I admit it. I don’t mind bugs, but there’s something about spiders…the way their abdomens are so swollen and shiny. The way their legs are so thin and bent at creepy angles. The way they sloooooowly step across a surface and then suddenly skitter really fast. They keep making horror […]

The things I do at work…

I said my boss was forgiving. How forgiving? I raised three baby squirrels in a cardboard box under my desk…until their eyes opened, anyhow. I followed a horrible shrieking in the wall at home one night and found them curled in a squirming, hairy fist in the crawlspace under my bathtub. All I could see […]