Category Archives: Personal

Oh, little magic people who live in the computer! Do not go away. Stay. Please. Weasel hearts you very much. See, Weasel drew you a picture for how much! What a big throbby heart Weasel has! Stay, and Weasel will give you what you want. Mister Google says that is a thing called “panty pulling” […]

Who are you people?

I haven’t even posted anything in a couple of days, and inexplicably I’m having my highest traffic day ever. No unusual incoming links, two paltry Google search terms and I’ve more than doubled on yesterday. Who are you and where are you coming from? Is it because I’m not posting? Is that it? Does it […]

From me to you

To the person who just found this wretched hive of scum and villainy by doing a Google search for “Lurpak butter logo” — here you go: Y’all come back now, y’hear? To the rest of you, I highly recommend Lurpak. It’s nice butter. You have to pay through the nose for it at Whole Foods, […]

I shall call him…Adolph

They’ve changed the body design of the Miata twice. Once in, like, 2000 and again last year, I think. All upright, decent citizens prefer the original design. It had a round, cheery shape, with a toothless smile, squinty running lights and googly pop-up headlamps. It was a happy, goofy car. Anime on wheels. Kind of […]

Bought a car

Damn, I had to get rid of that rental car. I didn’t so much mind driving it — if they weren’t built for shit, I wouldn’t mind having a four-door Doofusmobile. It’s like driving a high school gymnasium. Stately, you know? The problem was the radio. It had a satellite radio, which I couldn’t figure […]

weaseldreams

Division meeting. Yeah, like I was going to take notes about the 2007 Key Business Objectives. I heard the part about getting a bonus this year. The rest was all wub-wub wub WUB-wub-wub WUB wub.

215,461

Look how happy he is to see me! I don’t think it’s very nice there at that mechanic’s; they didn’t even close the hood properly. But they’re going to take him to a big farm upstate, where there’s lots of room for him to run around and plenty of other Miatas for him to play […]

plus ça change, plus ça stay-the-same

I’ve been listening to a lot of audio books lately, a thing I do when I am busy and stressed. Because I am thrifty lazy broke, I’ve been trawling for free recordings. These vary in quality (Girl with the Screechy Voice? I don’t know who told you a future in audiobooks was yours, but first […]

Jeez, enough with the entropy already!

Awwwwooooooo! Awwwwwoooooooooo! I feel like throwing myself on the hood and howling like one of those burqa ladies. Look at him! Look at his happy, smiling face. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t know what they’re going to do to him. Bastards. The alternator light came on at seven this morning, and just […]

A literary solution to an architectural problem

Every time the car breaks down or the washing machine overflows, I have the same thought. I think into the ether, with a weary mix of patience and exasperation, “no, you don’t understand…I don’t want to deal with this right now.” The ether never listens. As I suspected, the screws that hold the frame to […]