Are you intelligenced?

You know why I started this blog, really? I was itching to use “intelligence” as a verb. Do you wish to be intelligenced? Get the S. Weasel Intelligencer! It’ll intelligence the heck out you! (Random House Dictionary says it’s a noun; for ruining my fun, Random and the whole House can eat my shorts).

The famous one is the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, but I had no idea how many other papers had “Intelligencer” in the title until Google told me so. My other favorite is the New Orleans Times-Picayune, but I thought working “Picayune” and “Intelligencer” in the title was a little over the top. The various Telegraphs have a certain quaint olde worlde charm. Tribune is an odd choice, but there are a lot of ’em. And I have no idea why there are so many Suns. Why sun?

I do know how the names got mashed up into things like the Pawtucket Democrat Advisor Sun Times or the Alexandria Post Apocalyptic Chat and Automobile Classifieds. Big cities used to have dozens of newspapers catering to very specific readerships. Like…Sinister Habits, intelligencing the left-handed nun community.

Okay, I just now thought that up.

God, I tickle me.

Anyhow, in most markets, papers absorbed each other one by one until just a couple of rivals remained. When the last two merged, both had name recognition and a readership, so they just knocked them together.

But I’m sure you knew that.

You’re so intelligenced.


  1. Posted December 8, 2006 at 8:10 pm | Permalink

    Y’know what’s really funny? “Democrat-Intelligence”. Hehehehehehehe.

  2. Posted December 9, 2006 at 8:57 am | Permalink

    I recently asked a Christian Scientist of the Christian Science Monitor ever had anything to do with Christian Science. It did, apparently. It doesn’t now, obviously. She seemed grumpy about it.

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