Thank you, China, for keeping my home safe

I live in a pretty crappy neighborhood (yes it was crappy before I moved in. Shut up). It’s a blue collar section on the edge of a nasty housing project, so even our sad, small material possessions incite burning class envy in the breasts of the various brown youths who pass through here on their way to Symphony Hall (I assume that’s where they’re all going). Our modest homes were once the WalMart for junkies.

But no more. Twenty years ago, when I moved in, I was hearing constant rumors of burglary on our block. The basement window facing away from the road in my house was boarded up by the previous owner, as it had become a regular backdoor for bad guys. I was spared, thank gourd, but I heard it going down on all around me.

Then it stopped. I haven’t heard of a home invasion ’round these parts in ages. I (just now) think I’ve worked out why.

I bought my first 19″ color television in 1983. It cost me $740 (a hell of a lot of money to me then, so I remember well). Five years later, I bought my first VCR, and I think it was over $700, too. And that’s what junkies went for — everybody had them, the few who didn’t wanted them, they were generic and untraceable and could be fenced (I assume) within minutes for a nice chunk of change.

Thanks to China, do you even pay a hundred bucks for a 19″ TV now? Or a DVD player? Look around; are there any other goods in your house that are small and portable, easy to find, valuable and hard to trace?

Mine either.

Thank you, little yellow people.



  1. Posted December 5, 2006 at 7:09 pm | Permalink

    Vandalism, though. That’s another story. I went outside just at dusk yesterday to find that some little toe-rag had torn down part of the low stone wall in front of my house. Second time. Must have happened in daylight, too, because everything was okay when I got home.

    I hate thieves, but I fucking hate vandals. If you get ripped off, at least you have to assume somebody in the universe benefits. If your stuff is destroyed out of random spite, everyone is the poorer for it.


  2. Posted December 5, 2006 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    I can think of something comparable! They’ve had to get quite heavy about door security at the office recently, because of thieves walking in off the street and nicking laptops. Supposition is, they’re coming in dressed like business people.

    You could probably get a few hundred for a hot late model laptop. I’ve put on pantyhose for less.

Post a Comment

Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: